29)
Let's see if I understand how America works lately...

If a woman burns her thighs on a hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the retaurant.

If your teenage son kills himself, you blame rock and roll music or the musician he liked.

If you smoke three packs of cigarettes a day for forty years and you die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco companies.

If your teenage daughter gets pregnant by the football captain, you blame the school for poor sex education.

If your neighbour crashes his car into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.

If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot up heroin was dirty, you blame the government for not providing clean needles.

If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to understand the world anymore, so if I die while I am parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates. Ok?

30)
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this and told them this big circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs". "That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?" The judge asked the second boy. "Well, your honor, I persuaded 150 people to give up drugs forever." "One-hundred-fifty people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?" "Well, I used a similar approach. I said, 'This small circle is your asshole before prison....'"

Currently listening: This Is How a Heart Breaks By Rob Thomas Release date: By 18 July, 2005

Well we are here in the open range, open sky of North Dakota, We have been staying with In-laws for 2 weeks that in it's self has been a, "well should I say a Bitch for me" and I am sure for them too as we have come in and taken over their life style and mixed it with our's, I thought someone was going to go off the deep end before to long.

We had not found a place of are own, but got a call and we have a house oh boy!!!! it is smaller then what we had in SD, but it will work + it is belongs to us no Bank, no Land Lords. Our house free and clear.

OK I'M SORRY
Current mood: amused

My wife informed me that I was being a little hard on North Dakota & the fine folks of the state. This is true as it can't be that bad I did meet her there( that is good). My thoughts on the State is based on the Bad luck I had there, and all the Shit that happened to me, most of it my fault, SO I'M  SORRY, If you knew my wife, you do not want to be on her shit list.. lol

I promise to try and make the best of it, Give it a chance!!

What a huge Ass I was for saying what I did, There are good things about the State.

I will think of it soon

Something that senior officials call the "war paradigm" is the Bush administration's central organizing principle. They do not use the phrase publicly, just among themselves, but they bend policy to serve it.

After Sept. 11, 2001, they instantly adopted the war paradigm without any internal discussion. George W. Bush, who proclaimed, "I'm a war president" and insisted that he made decisions "with war on my mind," assumed the war paradigm as his natural state and right. According to its imperatives, the president in his wartime capacity as commander in chief makes and enforces laws as he sees fit, in effect as a sovereign, overriding the constitutional system of checks and balances. Some of the paradigm's expressions include Bush's fiats on the treatment of "war on terror" detainees, domestic surveillance, and international law and treaties, and his more than 750 signing statements appended to laws enacted by Congress that he claims he can implement as he chooses. In the beginning, the elements of the war paradigm appeared to be expediencies, conceived as a series of emergency measures in the struggle against al-Qaida. But, in fact, their precepts were developed in law review articles before Sept. 11 by John Yoo, promoted to deputy assistant attorney general in the Office of Legal Counsel at the Department of Justice, where Vice President Cheney's office assigned him to write key secret memos on torture, surveillance and executive power. Once Bush approved them, the clerisy of neoconservative lawyers, at least as tightly knit as Opus Dei, put them into effect. The war paradigm is Bush's "Da Vinci Code," the difference being that its high priests acknowledge in private that it is real.

I Had a Dream Where Bea Arthur and I Killed Somebody

I had a dream that Bea Arthur and I were walking down the street looking for her stolen Honda Civic. Bea Arthur is the actress who played Maude on the popular 70's sitcom of the same name and was also the tall one on the Golden Girls. I don't know why Bea Arthur and I were together in my dream but for some reason the two of us ended up in a bad part of downtown Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Bea and I were walking and all of a sudden, there it was, her 1983 Honda Civic. Bea rushes up and yanks this nasty looking kid out of the driver seat and starts to knock him around. And in my dream I remember thinking, when she was playing that Maude character, she wasn't acting. Bea Arthur is one tough old brawd. She's smacking this kid, yelling at him and I'm thinking "Bea, we've got the car, let's get out of here". But, Bea keeps knocking the snot out of this kid and he pulls a gun on her and I yelled, "Don't shoot. She's a celebrity."

And the kid with the gun said, "A celebrity? What is a celebrity doing driving a 1983 Honda Civic in downtown Kalamazoo?" I had no idea but I said, "Aaa... aaa.... We're here having an affair." I don't know why that's the first thing that came out of my mouth but frighteningly neither of the two kids said "No way," when informed of my sexual liaison with a woman twice my age and size. Then the kid with the gun said, "If she's a celebrity how come I don't recognize her?" But his friend said, "She's the tall one from the Golden Girls."

And the kid with the gun said, "Yeah, I hate that show". And he aimed the gun at Bea, but Bea, in my dream anyway, has really quick hands and snatched the gun from the kid. I thought everything was over because we had the gun and the car and we could just leave but Bea was just all jacked up and she said, "You hate the Golden Girls?!! Well suck on this punk." And she shot the guy right in the chin. Then Bea turned to me and said, "Let's you and me go someplace quiet and get comfortable."

And that's when I woke up screaming. My wife asked me what I was dreaming about and I said something about Gary Coleman becoming governor of California. What's my point? I would say, generally you should never lie to your wife but in cases like this, it's probably best.

My Brother-in-Law will be here in 8 days, with a truck to help us move he has a way of taking control of everything so that should be fun. Don't get me wrong I like him...."but" there is always a but right? It may not be a bad thing as my back will not alllow me to do to much.. so it is nice to have the help, so why am I Bitchen?  it's my nature to, No one would know what to do in my family if  I was any other way.

So my wife has been working none stop almost everyday some days 12 to 14 hrs., to help cover with bills, and for me not working.Workers Comp only pays 60% of my wages.I feel bad> I have always worked and I am going nuts not working, you can do so much at home. 

I went to my Doctor today, He said I will always have on going problems with my back, and I will need to see a PT" the rest of my life... oh boy!

He also said it would not feel like a 20 yr old's back,, MMMMM sounds like something else that does not feel 20 anymore.

He is a great Rehab Doc, I wish he could go with us ND. (8 days away and counting.)

Time For Some Colorful Quotes from Bob and Tom

"It was a tough gig. They hadd to wake me up to fire me"- Jim Gaffigon

"Carreying around Vagisil is like having a I.V. for genitals. You need that constant lube"-Tom

"My indian name is Running Tab"-Mike Armstrong

"I bought one of those fake rocks you use to hide your house key. A burglar used it to break my window.- Dwight York

So get this, my wife and I plan a fun day with the kids nothing to costly , with the move and everything we are dirt poor right now, but thats not the point...Anyway.. as we get ready the kids are fighting the way two boys fight. I get the car ready check the oil, the tire's etc (you know anything to look busy) after 1 hr of the mind blowing fighting we get into the car I start to take off and I hear a stop it, stop hitting me (seems they took it to the car)

 I say then what all Dads say" I will stop this car and we can go back in the house and do nothing" it worked 2 min later they both turn thier focus on us, they say we never do anything with them.... oh wait a min I thought we were in the car planned a picnic, and simming for the day but we NEVER do anything with them.!!.. man what is that shit? so then while we sat trying to enjoy our nice picnic, they are still on us , they want us to go Six flags or something not in our budget, Billy's parents are taking him to Denver and they are going to Six Flags "We here" we hear somthing like that everyday!!!!, So we had our picnic, we said no on the swimming we thought why bother Right?'"  Right!.

We drove over to Billy's( not his real name) house dropped the kids off and made them walk home, oh before that we stopped at the store and picked up 6 each little flags $1.00 each(good deal) they walked home with those little flags in their hands. It was a great day for a Family picnic.!!!!

The top 10 things I hate

1, Bush's shifty eyes, he worries me.

2,The person that pulls out in-front of you and ackes like it is your fault, then gives you the finger,,oh the hell... watch out I know people.

3,Those home make over show, the are so played out.

4,My Gay mail- man , for haveing a better body then me, and the way he pounds my door when he has a certi-- letter for me.,

5,My Father in-law's way of letting everyone know, how much he knows.

6, The way no one ever talks about the way Jay Leno, robbed letterman of Tonight Show,   yes i am still crushed.

7, the Denver Broncos, oh and fans,, just to let you know John Elway your great QB, is A wife beater that would be 71/2 hate.

8, that person who keeps putting garbage in my yard, the drive by garbage guy you know who you are.

9, Underwear Adds.

10, the lady talk show host, i won't say her name she will put a curse on me if i say it!!!!

OK, #11 ,so I said 10, i just thought of a few more,

12, they way my wife trashs the car 1 day after I clean it.

13, Close talkers

14,my family not telling what is going on in the family....how rude!,then calling after the fact and say I thought so" and so" told you...

15, All those crappy B movies on late at night... and they way I sit and watch the whole 3 hr thing. ohhhhh ohhhhhhh.

16, my wifes Ugly Dike friend from work, why could'nt she be hot , then ,,,,,well you know!!!

 That is all for the day I hate alot!!!! so there could be more later, I could keep going but it would take all day,maybe some other time.

Time for a move, "Again" Th e signs are all there but I have been fighting it, now it is time to go our landlord has given us 30 days to move,he wants to sale the house we rent.

So we are moving, we move every 2 or 3 yrs I think, we are going back to Noth Dakota, my wife has wanted to move back there for a yr now to be closer to her family , but I had said with Force,"NO"

You see I hate that state, the politics, the way they all talk there, the weather ohhh my God the weather I am going to freaze my ass off "again!

The one thing that is a plus there is the cost of living is cheap, cheap!! You see they can't keep anyone so they have no choice but to keep prices down, You could buy a house there for 30 to 60 thousand, (n the smaller towns) you can never get lost in North Dakota cuz there is a town every 15 to 20 miles.

Remember the movie Fargo, well that is not to far from the truth!!!!!!

So it is time to move back to a place I hate .

FUN FUN FUN, SHIT!!!!!!! Hope my wife loves me he he he